Humor can pretty much overpower anger and frustration. I can attest to that.

So many times.

My husband Kevin and I have been married for 20 years. We have lived in several major cities, culling and dragging all our belongings to each one. Re-invented ourselves, changing careers along the way.

Been flush and been flatass broke.

We have endured just about everything through the years.

Excitement, challenges, losses, grief, you name it.

Yet, twenty years later our marriage is even stronger. There is the teamwork involved, along with respect and COMPROMISE.

Respect and compromise are your best friends.

We agreed from the beginning that we would never resort to name calling or attacking each other using our deeper, darker secrets. And yes we have been angry, very angry with each other. We just found that humor relieves a lot of frustration which usually manifests from outside influences we have no control over. You live in the same house so its pretty hard not to vent. And, frankly, I feel you should vent. Just remember where the source of our anger really lies and that the one sitting next to you isn't your enemy.

They are your number one friend and person you want standing by your side through thick and thin. 

So without further ado a little snippet of a recent conversation in our household:

When we lived in Phoenix and Tucson, I did most of the laundry. I am a sloth but, hey, you gotta have clean clothes at some point. I am always looking for an easier way to do things in a quicker mode. So I noticed my darling husband's t-shirts, underwear and socks were always inside out. One evening I purposefully observed him dis-robing and realized it's the way he removes his clothes. So me, being the ever-bossy person I am said, "hey babe, why don't you remove your clothes so they are right-side out? It would make folding the clean laundry so much faster." His response, "sure."

Yeah, right.

In all the years of laundry the t-shirts, socks and underwear continued to come out of the dryer inside out. I know. I know. It's silly. 

So we move to New Orleans and a role reversal begins. He does the laundry, most of it is his anyway now that he works in a commercial kitchen 12 hours a day. Recently we lost our best four legged friend, Sybil. I had devoted a very large portion of my day to attending to her and her needs. So when she passed I was horribly sad; everything reminding me of her. I needed any diversion. So I decided to do the laundry again. 

Well to my surprise every article of Kevin's clothing that came out of the dryer was right side out. I was shocked. So when my darling arrived home from work I made mention. He shrugged his shoulders and grinned. I knew then my dear husband had been exhibiting his own passive-aggressive resistance to my constant laundry nagging in the past.

I couldn't resist laughing my ass off because those that know me know I am OCD and a control freak. Traits that aren't particularly attractive, but my husband found a way to get even without a war, without name calling, without fighting. And I, realizing what a shrew I must have been, just burst out laughing. Because if we can't laugh at ourselves and potentially tense situations then it will be a long, hard road. 

My advice? Well, first try not to be a control freak, but if all else fails laugh. Laugh at the situation. Laugh at yourself for being crazy. And let others laugh. When we act like jerks and are reminded that yeah we just acted like a jerk, back off, take a quick look at what is really important, then just laugh. It works.

Sometimes it just ain't pretty!